last post of 09!

Hard to believe 09 and the decade are drawing to a close. I feel like this year went so quickly and I have nothing to show for it but I guess that's really not true. Yes I am still unemployed and haven't even had an interview in months but I did get married and pregnant and start a CSA this year so I guess it was actually a pretty eventful year. I also did a lot of camping and biking and we were pretty broke for a good portion of the year so we barely ate out and were probably healthier than we've been in a long time.

I went to a session about prenatal nutrition. One of the interesting things was learning about "good" fats. She said that our bodies process fats in whole milk and whole dairy a lot faster and better than non-fat dairy and that those are fats that help with fetus brain development and are actually really important for all of us. She claims that the idea of low-fat milk being healthier is ludicrous. That was interesting.

When we came back from CA our fridge died so we had to throw out everything in our fridge and freezer. I woke up at 3:00 AM obsessed with what meals I will be eating for the next 4 days until finally I went to the kitchen and had some cheerios since we had nothing else. I haven't been that hungry in the middle of the night in weeks I thought I had moved past that! I officially can't button any of my jeans anymore and yet no one seems to know that I am pregnant or they sound surprised. I am bigger than I have ever been in my life!

Here's to 2010 a year of new beginnings and new possibilities. . .

Plot thickens!

So yesterday I call back my original in-network midwife and she has taken on a new patient and no longer has any May openings! I almost broke down on the phone with her. So now it's pay $3200 out of pocket for people that we really like or start all over again with someone else and do a hospital birth. I just called my lovely insurance and the Brooklyn Birthing center would not be covered at all, so that's no longer an option. I cannot believe how complicated this is!

I cannot believe that we got married so that I can be on this freakin insurance and the insurance covers nothing that I want! I can't believe that the most progressive union in the city representing 100,000 workers will not cover a homebirth. It is so outrageous!!!!

I am so frustrated with this country and the state of healthcare and the utter lack of options.

I hate this country!

So last week Mr. T and I met with these really cool homebirth midwifes that we both had a good feeling about and decided that we want to work with them. Yesterday I had my first appointment and everything seemed to be on track. Today I find out that my insurance will only cover $2800 total for a homebirth which means that we would have to pay $3000 out of pocket. If we do a hopsital birth it will be completely covered. Even though a hospital birth will cost the insurance company 3 or maybe 4 times what a homebirth would cost they will pay the whole thing no questions asked!

I am not working and don't seem to be very good at earning money. Technically we can get $3000 together and the midwifes are happy to accept a payment plan but does it make sense considering how many more expenses we will have once the baby is born and considering that we could deliver for free.

Or is that the wrong way to look at it. Should I look at it as having the experience and care that I want is worth paying for regardless.

I feel like during a homebirth we would be completely cared for and respected and unhurried and we can create whatever kind of environment that we want. With a hospital we have no control of the environment, I would still get good care but i would be in an institution and have to follow their rules and have to fight for stuff that would not be a struggle in our livingroom!

Feeling very conflicted and incredibly frustrated!

Havn't blogged in a while

I caught a really bad cold over thanksgiving and sort of lost my blogging rhythm but I am back! Still haven't conquered this cold it just wants to linger I guess, haven't had any coffee in 10 days now.

I dreamt last night that Nessli, my parents black lab jumped into the back of a red convertible and wouldn't come back and this sleazy couple came out and drove away totally unaware of him. We were calling and calling and then Mr. T and I grabbed skateboards to try and catch up with him but couldn't catch them. It was sad being home without Mr. Ness around he was such a strong personality and a regal presence.

Lets see last I wrote our baby blob was running marathons inside me. I've since cut down to half a pill of synthroid and the baby's heartbeat has stabilized at 160, still a fast mover! I am finally officially in the second trimester I was starting to wonder if it would ever start. I am still peeing all the time even though your bladder is supposed to calm down after the first and before the third.

I applied for a job at the Moth this week, would love to hear back from them! Check out their podcast if you don't know it: www.themoth.org fingers crossed.

I applied for a scholarship to the food conference in CA which i am optimistic about. On Wednesday I volunteered at the office for a full day and was reminded all over again why i truly don't like office jobs! There's something inherently flawed and empty in office culture. It doesn't help of course when they ask you to come in and volunteer and don't really have anything for you to do. . .and you have too much time to observe the bizarre dynamics and personalities around you.

Yesterday I went to a maternity store to buy what I thought was going to be a giant rubberband but is really more like a mini skirt. The idea is that you don't have to button your jeans, you just put this over them and no one can tell that you can't quite get the zipper up! It should allow me to wear my favorite jeans for another few months so I consider it a good investment. The store was ridiculous. As I was trying to pay the woman asked for my address and phone number which I didn't give to her, "but we'll send you cool gifts closer to your duedate!" she insisted, no gracias! Then she tried to give me a "giftbag" full of coupons and told me that if I spend $75 they will give me a $50 gift certificate to some restaurants, imagine what those would be like! It's been so long since i was at a place that was so blatantly trying to gimmick people, and of course the stuff in there was super cheesy. The thought of having to go shopping for clothes that I will only wear for a few months is quite depressing.

I've been reading Ina May's guide to childbirth. She's a midwife who started a commune with her husband in the 70's in Tennessee and they still live there and provide a birthing center. The whole first half of the book is women's birthing stories, not the best reading before bed, unless you want to dream about "rushes" which is what they call contractions and crowning all night.

no real title

Can't come up with anything catchy. Tomorrow is Turkey day and the official start of the "holiday season." I feel like even trying to find a job during the holiday season is pointless no one hires until January and everyone is distracted and preoccupied and not much work even gets done. Like how i try to justify the fact that I am resigned to my unemployed state? I just can't seem to make money making a priority.

Yesterday I met with the midwife again who was shocked that we hadn't talked about what any of the tests meant, she said she always talks to people about them, well not to me! The good news is that all the tests look normal no alarming freaky diseases at this point. But then she listened to the heartbeat and said she had NEVER heard such a fast heart beat on such a small fetus before. When they start moving around a lot the heart rate can soar but at this stage they ain't really working out too much. It was so high that it was off the dopler and she had to use her watch. she counted 200!

I got a flat tire on the way to her office and made a mad dash for the subway with my bike to get there on time so maybe the fetus was just really excited, though my heartrate was only at 80, as exciting as a flat was. . . The only theory she could come up with was that I was on too high a dosage of synthroid so she took more blood. Of course with tom. being thanksgiving i probably won't find out anything for a while and meanwhile my blob of a baby is running marathons in there. She said she had no idea why the baby would be working so hard but i guess better that than a faint heartbeat or missing heart beats.

This weekend Mr. T and I watched The Business of Being Born the homebirth movement cult classic. I think Mr. T is beginning to understand some of my critiques of hospitals and OB's and is even coming around to the idea of a home birth. You know it's good agit prop when Mr. T woke up the next morning and said he had a dream about labor, it's starting to sink in!

I have decided to go to the Hazon food conference in CA again over Xmas so I have to go and write some essays to hopefully get a full scholarship to attend. . .

Please explain

Here's a great ad. It's got everything I love: missing words, a ridiculous concept, and no pay:

Need photographer for vegan calender shoot (brooklyn)
Date: 2009-11-18, 11:12PM EST
Reply to: gigs-5efyh-1472606486@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are making a calender to benefit vegan and animal rights non- profits. The models are going to be nude in different themes for each month and they will each give a quick vegan recipe. We are looking for a talented photographer looking to donate their time for the experience and good cause. Please email with samples of work, must be able to shoot in the next couple weeks as we need to get the calender out asap, and having resources to studios or ideas you have are a plus but not a deal breaker. This will be a lot of fun for you and great for a portfolio. I look forward to working with you.

* Location: brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Please explain to me what nude models have to do with vegan recipes or animal rights! Where do people come up with these things?

The endocronologist finally got back to me last night and has decided to put me on a low dosage of synthroid, a thyroid medicine that apparently cannot be taken with food in your system. She said to take it first thing in the morning and then wait a full 30 minutes before having breakfast. I should then wait to take my prenatal vitamins until the afternoon so they don't interfere with the synthroid absorption. I cannot possibly wait 30 minutes before eating breakfast! When I wake up I am starving and can't even wait five minutes before eating. So I took it last night at 2 AM during a bathroom visit. Considering I wake up at least once a night to pee, usually more, I plan on taking it then, I hope that doesn't screw up the effectiveness.

I of course spent a few hours last night reading all over again about low thyroid and pregnancy and there are all these studies that prove that women with low thyroid had babies with lower IQs than "normal" moms. One article I read actually said, "than normal moms!" how can they possibly pinpoint that? How do they know it's the thyroid lowering the IQ and not a 1000 other factors? I also don't understand how I could not have a single one of the symptoms and still possibly be dumbing down our baby. The doctor said she has seen plenty of women with my levels who have fine babies, but are they just a wee bit dumber than they would have been?

Fun thoughts.

A job would be good right about now.

1 more thing

Another really cool thing about homebirth midwives is that they do all the prenatal visits in your apartment! Which means no longer waiting a full hour in a cramped waiting room to meet a distracted provider. While I was waiting to meet the endocronologist last week who has yet to get back to me with my blood work results there were literally 4 different pharmacutical reps. who stopped by the office to drop off pens and fancy booklets about the drugs they were pedaling. One of the other doctors flirted with 3 pretty girls and promised to call them as soon as he had made a decision. These women dress in these horrible suits and are so dolled up it's amazing they can even walk. How do you get up every morning and do that? It's one of the more depressing career choices. So instead of sitting in a room where the clock has a corporate ad and the sheet that doesn't cover my body, and every square inch of the room has been sold and bid on I can actually just be in my apartment with mice and roaches instead!

As I was about to publish this post a little ad popped up on the screen for bluebird midwifery practice, blogger saw that I was writing about midwifes and thought I might like to call this practice, how sweet of them! There's one midwife I will NOT be calling!

is unpaid work still work?

I seem to be very good at creating unpaid work opportunities for myself. I started a CSA in Corwn Heights which has turned in to so much more work than I would have ever guessed and I am paid in vegetables! Our farmer just announced that he is raising the cost of a share next year by $20. This doesn't sound like a lot but he already has one of the highest rates of any farmer around. We are committed to attracting more economically diverse members and providing organic produce to everyone regardless of income. We also have to charge an admin fee to cover some of our expenses and I am worried that extra $20 is going to put people over the edge. When I asked him his reason for raising the rate he got very defensive and started talking about his labor costs:

"As a vegetable farm we are exempt from overtime wage regulations, but we, along with our staff, regularly put in more than 70 hours per week. In reality, all of my staff is really just happy to have the work and income. But, I give no other benefits than being an honest and worthy employer. They in return, have given us the best of their labor. While most are seasonal employees, the majority of them have returned year after year, something that I do wish to take for granted."

Now he is not saying that I am raising my price so that we can give out raises or pay overtime or benefits, he's just saying labor is pricey.

A friend of Mr. T's recently wrote a disturbing article about how farmworkers she's talked to prefer to work for big corporations than small family farms because the pay is better and they actually get benefits. I wanted to scream when I read her argument but here I am contributing to a farmer who is admitting to exploiting his workers and doesn't seem too upset about it.

Our farmers rates are so high already that we cannot afford to have a sliding scale program where higher income members pay a higher rate to subsidize lower income shares because our minimum payment is too high. Is there any way that we can use our consumer power to demand that he pay his workers more? Can we offer to pay even more for a share if it translates in to raises? But what about low-income members in our community? How can we support them and not exploit workers? It's really complicated! But has me thinking about whether I can somehow become a consultant that works with CSA's to help them have these challenging conversations with their farmers, and to make members aware of the fact that they are supporting a local business who may not be treating workers as well as we'd like to imagine they are.

What I have been thinking about more and more lately is how maybe I have been taking the wrong approach sitting passively by and sending out resumes to groups that are already stuck in the way they do things. I hate office politics and I hate sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day. I think I need to start my own thing whether a consultant or something else, but how do you really make something like that happen? Especially when my natural instinct is to do things for free. . .

In other news we caught a mouse this morning. I bought 4 different kinds of traps and poison and the snap trap is now my favorite!

I have also made an appointment to meet with home delivery midwifes. Though NY is a big city it's really not. All the midwifes know each other so I had to be careful about what I said about my current midwife. When I said that she is more medically minded than I am looking for, the response was "oh yes she's good but very medical, we have a very different approach." Hopefully they can convince Mr. T that a homebirth does not translate in to a death sentence!

Back to the Drawing Board

Funny expression I never really thought about it before, what are we drawing? How bout a better midwife! There seems to be consensus among everyone I talk to that it is totally uncool and NOT standard for someone to do blood tests and schedule the nuchal translucency screen ultrasound/ blood work without thoroughly explaining it and getting approval for it. Even the tech was shocked that Beverly had not talked to me about what they would be doing, she just said lets set up an ultrasound.

For some reason that I cannot understand Mr. T has no problem with this and doesn't think there is any harm in getting tested up the wazoo! He has this inherent trust in doctors that is completely foreign to me and a little unnerving. He just believes they are looking out for you and well intentioned. My grandfather didn't go to a doctor for 50 years, in our house hospitals make you sick and doctors make all sorts of mistakes and second and third opinions were the norm if anything ever came up. Mr T. does not seem to question their authority, a fundamentally different world view.

I emailed a homebirth midwife that a friend of mine was raving about she said that she became like a member of the family and that she couldn't possibly say enough good things about her. Hopefully she will write back.

Today I applied for a job that I am totally underqualified for but that sounds really cool. It's to be the director of Food and Fitness, The NYC Food & Fitness Partnership is a citywide collaboration focused on implementing a comprehensive Community Action Plan to carry out the vision of making healthy eating and active living the easy choices. Who knows maybe I'll get called in because whenever I apply for stuff that I feel solidly qualified for I don't hear shit!

Last night was our last CSA pick-up for the season. The thought of going back to Crown Heights supermarket produce is depressing beyond words. Although Mr. T does not agree I think that eating Fred's produce did help us conceive, neither of us have ever eaten as much salad as we have in the last 6 months and I believe that the lack of pesticides helped our systems more than we can know.

Here's an ideal job for me since I love standing out in the cold!

Sell Christmas Trees in Manhattans finest locations! (Manhattan)
Date: 2009-11-10, 10:24AM EST
Reply to: see below

Full Time, Part Time and Night Shifts Available! From November 23rd to December 26th.

Sell, stock and deliver Christmas Trees and interact with thousands of our New York clients and their families. We are located at some of Manhattans most unique and elite locations. The full-time positions are not for everyone, and are not for anyone with other major time commitments during the holiday season. It is for those who seek a truly different work experience and holiday adventure. It is not for the faint of heart! Much outdoor work, some hard, but great fun too! Wreath Decorators, Man with van, Santas and Elves needed as well. Honesty, integrity and a great attitude are the main qualities we seek in our employees. People from all walks of life and lifestyles welcome...And of course, HOLIDAY SPIRIT A MUST!!!

Serious inquiries only!!!

212-920-9094

* Location: Manhattan
* Compensation: Good pay, plus tips!
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

Twins?

What do George W and I have in common? NOTHING! Certainly not having twins in the family. Today it was officially confirmed that there is only 1 little 3 cm fetus hanging out in my backward leaning uterus. And not only is it judgmental to label a uterus "backward" it also sucks because it means that it's harder to find that damned 3 cm blob and hear it's heartbeat! A regular ultrasound wasn't cuttin it so she had to insert the freakin ultrasound and was shocked that I found it uncomfortable. But we did eventually locate that big old head and funny looking ligaments, little legs and arms, and we heard the heartbeat again which has gone down to 145, (my theory is that I hadn't had coffee yet).

I didn't have much of a reaction seeing it on the screen, I thought I would feel more. I didn't sleep much last night and don't generally like being poked around so I'm sure that was part of it. It certainly doesn't resemble a human yet, as Mr. T said a photo that only a parent could love. I told Mr. T on our ride over that we would find out for sure today if we are having twins or not. The thought of twins had NEVER crossed his mind, but terrified him for our whole ride over, so the relief at seeing only one little head on the monitor was true relief and so intense that it made me laugh and that made the picture blurry and the woman scolded me.

After killing a few hours I went to appointment number 2 with the endocronoligist, Ms. Olga. Made a blunder and asked Olga when she was due and she told me her baby was 3 weeks old, that it was just fat, oops! Our healthcare system is so fucked up that even doctors don't get adequate maternity leave, I couldn't believe she was back at work with a 3 week old baby! I had to wait for a full hour to see Olga for about 9 minutes. She didn't think my thyroid levels looked alarmingly low and said that during the first trimester with all the estrogen cursing through my veins the thyroid levels sometimes get a little funky but that it really doesn't mean anything. She drew blood and said I'd get the results in a week, but that it was probably fine. That was a huge relief, she said she didn't feel anything unusual about my thyroid either. So hopefully the midwife just misinterpreted the bloodwork. . .

Speaking of this mid-wife she did not explain to me that she was doing a series of tests for downs and other diseases today. These tests are optional but she gave me no option she simply scheduled them which really pissed me off.

I've been thinking about the term unemployed. I don't like being defined by what I'm not, in the negative. It's crappy to think of yourself in the negative there are enough negative thoughts running through my mind all day without having to put that big label on myself. Why do we always have to define ourselves by what we do, or what we aspire to do, why not just who we are.

I am working on some new terminology to define my current state, but have not come up with a suitable term yet. . .

odd

I wasn't feeling inspired to post today but this craigslist posting is so odd I had to share it:

30 stories 30 nights (Midtown)
Date: 2009-11-05, 5:03PM EST
Reply to: gigs-stecv-1453157816@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am in the midst of writing a book called 30 stories 30 nights. I have reserved a hotel room in midtown for 30 straight nights and plan on writing about how people spend their time in hotel rooms. Each night will represent a different chapter. The chapters will consist of information that I observe as well as an interview that will be conducted with each participant. The compensation for this is $150 a night. Also, feel free to bring whomever you would like to stay with you for the night. If you have any questions, please let me know. Hopefully, there will be 30 interested participants.

* Location: Midtown
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: $150

It doesn't even make sense. Is this guy (and yes I assume it's a guy) gonna sit in the hotel room and observe you all night? How creepy and how not an interesting book idea!

Unemployment is at over 10% a 24 year high! And the funny thing is that I don't even count in those numbers, imagine how many people it must really be, like 20% of our country???

I just looked up the endocrinologist that I am going to on Monday. She's Russian and has gotten some pretty bad reviews on line for awful bedside manner, can't wait to meet her!

I've spent most of the day making a slideshow with wedding photos for our upcoming west coast wedding celebration. I think my eyes are officially crossed from staring at screens too long. A lot harder to edit on a laptop! I already miss my desktop though it's nice to be typing from the couch right now. It's freezing outside and I've gotten no exercise today, not good!

New Insight

This week I have had two conversations with 2 new moms and both were saying the same thing in different ways. Essentially going in to labor is one painful, pretty crappy day but ultimately it's just one day. There is so much focus and hype and obsession over it but really it's just one day and then you have to figure out how to deal with a baby and everything is forever different. Instead of focusing on how our lives are never going to be the same again and that we will have a completely dependent being on our hands we get fixated and obsessed with the actual labor and delivery. It's all abstract to me at this point, the labor, the baby, the sleepless nights, all of it. None of it feels real.

I was talking to someone who had an OB and ended up loving her doctor and despising her doula, really you can't win in this game.

Yesterday I worked in a coffee shop for over 3 hours, I feel like one of the cool kids with my spiffy new mac laptop! Like a true American consumer I can't believe I went so long without it.

Here's my favorite posting of today:

Tickling 100/HR PLUS
Date: 2009-11-05, 8:55AM EST
Reply to: thmmcan@aol.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need several extremely ticklish and attractive female models for this Friday 11/06 for a tickling video shoot. The shoot is from 2-9PM, you can work an hour or multiple hours. Attire is jeans/tanktop/sneakers for foot tickling, optional body tickling requires bikini. Send pics for immediate consideration. All tickling is done by another female model, references available. Minimum pay is 200 cash. Again, you must be extremely ticklish, especially on your feet, I will send you a link to look at sample videos for reference.
Send pics for immediate consideration.
I need the following types for this week and coming weeks:

in-shape, very attractive caucasian and spanish models
very

caucasian female, 40 yrs old plus

I also need very fit, attractive caucasian men with extremely ticklish feet.



* Compensation: 100/hr

new computer!

This is my first post from my brand spanking new Mac Book Pro! I am still in shock that I bought this thing and I am still getting used to the keyboard. My first laptop, it's so hard to believe it's true! The keyboard is all lit up in a cool way yet I still keep slipping on it. When you turn it on for the first time it does a 5 minute long welcome song with dancing letters in 30 languages welcoming you to your computer, it's a funny world, the world of apple.

I got a call from my midwife this morning that my thyroid levels are low which can lead to developmental problems, brain damage and deafness, fun! All the stuff I've read says that the thyroid levels in the first trimester are when it matters most. I feel like our healthcare system is so backwards! Doctors don't really want to see you or talk to you until you're 10 weeks pregnant but then there are all these things that can go wrong before that point. By the time the 2nd trimester starts the fetus develops its own thyroid and it's not as important any more. I've never been diagnosed with hyperthyroid condition and I don't have any of the symptoms, but it runs in the fam. . . Worrying can't do no good so hopefully no harms been done.

Every time my phone rings with an odd number I get so excited that it's someone calling to offer me a job but usually it's just a wrong number. I talked to a waiter at a coffee shop yesterday who just got a puppy and is looking for a dogwalker since he works nights. . . I may have landed my first customer.

I like how at the end of this post they say: "with a happy ending. . ."

children story writer (nyc)
Date: 2009-11-03, 10:29AM EST
Reply to: gigs-hwg5e-1449430133@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hello,


We are looking for a children story writer for short book series involving real life issues (divorce, older siblings, new sibling, growing up, losing a loved one, going to school, having a friend move away, changing schools, giving up the pacifier, eating with mom and dad at the table, etc) with a happy ending. Please send a short sample of this or a related topics to ginaghods@yahoo.com. Thank you.

pay to be discussed.

Thank you,
Gina

Monday Monday

For some reason Mondays are when all the crazies come out to craigslist to entertain the unemployed masses. Here are 2 fun ones:

Need a stylist to help dress a man
Date: 2009-11-02, 12:11AM EST
Reply to: gigs-9vyjn-1447539556@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need some who's very good at dressing up a guy. Need a new look .Must know what your doing and have great insight with cloths

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: 125.00

Artist needed to draw a line - $60 (Union Square)
Date: 2009-11-02, 12:13AM EST
Reply to: huanger@alum.mit.edu [Errors when replying to ads?]

Yes, just draw a line. I put a Banksy stencil on my wall and I need to connect the two parts of it with a line that wanders all over a wall that will cover around an area of about 10 feet wide by 7 feet tall. I would like it to have it look like a fun urban tangle on the wall. Just need you to do it with a pencil and I will paint it. Guessing that it will take about an hour or so including a quick sketch of what it might look like before you come over.

Please send me some samples.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

I woke up this morning thinking about strawberry pancakes with whipped cream but settled for strawberry yogurt with cereal instead. I was starving less than 3 hours later, I really don't like having to eat so often.

Today's stress is computer induced. What to do what to do. It seems stupid to spend $550 to fix a 4 year old computer when i can buy a new one for 1100, basically twice as much. But I hate falling in to the capitalist trap. And since i can't seem to land a job using final cut or any other programs i slaved over at school and all i really do these days is surf the web and send out coverletters maybe it's stupid to buy a powerful machine, and yet what if some kick ass editing job is right around the corner but they need someone with their own operating system? Who knows what's behind door number 2.

Last time i bought a computer i felt like they were nickle and diming me so much that i decided to save $200 and not have the capacity to burn DVD's, one of the dumber computer decisions i made. I feel myself again getting defensive in light of all they are trying to get me to buy but i don't want to get screwed.

I don't understand how people think of shopping as fun. . .

heartbeats and logic boards oh my

So on Thursday I heard the heart beat for the first time, 160 beats a minute! Pretty incredible to hear that coming out of my belly, very bizarre. That same day I found out that the logic board of my Mac that I've had for 4 years is dead. There is no logic to anything really.

Today we went to an orientation at the Brooklyn Birthing Center, the only freestanding birthing center in all of New York State and it's 2 small rooms with a much smaller bathroom and tub then I would have expected. The group of people at the orientation was truly bizarre from a know it all Orthodox punk who couldn't have been more than 20 years old who answered his cellphone as the midwife was answering his question about herbs which he claimed to know more about than her, to the truly bizarre 35 year old woman who was obsessed with tearing and with the size of her pelvis. One woman almost threw up during the orientation and another got defensive because she works for the health insurance industry.

When I asked my midwife about whether I would be allowed to eat and drink during labor she literally laughed in my face and said if I was thinking about food than obviously I wasnt in labor. At the birthing center they made a big point of showing off the tiny kitchen and saying that everyone's allowed to eat or drink whatever they want during labor. I found the space to be a little clausterphobic with no windows but that could also be because we all piled in together and the hallways were cramped. The tub was a lot smaller and less inviting than I had imagained, and the midwife doing the tour recently had knee replacement surgery and is no longer able to bend down and assist in a water birth.

I guess the next step is to visit the hospital and see how it feels in comparison. Mr. T felt very good about us because there was someone at the orientation who is at 37 weeks, he couldn't believe how far above the curve we were.

I found out last week that I have been counting wrong, not too surprising! i still don't get it but apparently i'm starting week 11 when I thought i was starting week 12, oops. It's all so arbitrary.

I have to figure out if it makes sense to fix the logic board or buy a new computer and if a new one whether i get another desktop or if I graduate to a more expensive but spiffier laptop. Decisions, decisions.

I have no idea what this means

Shower Door Mechanic
Date: 2009-10-28, 11:05AM EDT
Reply to: joe@triviewshowerdoor.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Mature responsible individual with experience ONLY
Full Time TOP PAY$$$$$$
Please reply to joe@triviewshowerdoor.com or Fax resume to (516) 338-4173,
Contact Joe at (516) 338-4170 or (516) 315-3647


* Compensation: TOP PAY$$$$$$

Top pay to fix shower doors, what??? What about curtains do you get top dollar for them too? It's been rainy and cold for 2 days now and I haven't left the apartment yet today - never ever ever a good thing for my mental health. Maybe I should start fixing shower doors around town.

I am feeling pretty useless and sluggish.
I read Jonathan Safraen Foer's piece about vegetarianism in the NY Times magazine from a couple weeks ago. He talks about how having kids made him confront his own hypocricy:
"The shame of parenthood - which is a good shame - is that we want our children to be more whole than we are, to have satisfactory answers. My children not only inspired me to reconsider what kind of eating animal I would be, but also shamed me into reconsideration. And then, one day, they will choose for themselves. I don't know what my reaction will be if they decide to eat meat. (I don't know what my reaction will be if they decide to renounce their Judaism, root for the Red Sox or register Republican.) I'm not as worried about what they will choose as much as my ability to make them conscious of the choices before them. I wont measure my success as a parent by whether my children share my values, but by whether they act according to their own."

This feels like an important reminder to me. I constantly find myself thinking, what if my kid doesn't like spicy food? What if they are interested in something totally boring like fire trucks? What if I can't relate. I want to try hard to keep the idea in my head that as long as they believe in something and can articulate and defend it then it's something.

I was joking with a friend that this baby is the most conservative creature ever because it waited until we were legally married and until at least one of us was gainfully employed and with insurance to show up on the scene. But what if it's not a joke what if this baby really does have a conservative traditionalist bent? the thought terrifies me!

I am feeling very pessimistic at the prospect of finding a job before I start showing and it becomes too complicated. I need some focus for these next few months. . . I feel like a broken record.

Computers

My workhorse of a computer has been rebelling and is now at the doctor. The thought of losing her is very very distressing. The worst part about it is that I have a beloved and pirated version of final cut pro that could not be replaced if I had to get a new hard drive. Every time i turn around or stop using the poor thing for a few minutes she shuts down. It will be a few days before I hear anything.

On friday a job I had applied to 6 weeks ago and was really excited about and feel uniquely qualified for was reposted on Idealist. It feels like a real blow when that happens. I decided to resend my application in the off chance that they had failed to read it the first time around. My brother told me that when he was working somewhere he posted a job then got busy with other stuff and a month later instead of going through all those old emails he decided to repost the position and start from scratch. Lazy employers have no idea how much unnecessary stress and emotional turmoil they cause us unemployed Joes!

In the last few months I have gotten various mass emails from friends and acquaintances soliciting my help in their jobsearch. It always makes me laugh, as if I can help any one! But I know they are being good unemployed boys and girls and doing the networking steps but I don't really know what I would be networking for, which makes the unpleasant task that much less manageable!

I feel like I get out of breath way faster than I used to, a simple hill and I am panting, it's troubling.

We have an election coming up here in NYC today I saw job postings from both candidates. I wish I liked or could even tolerate either of them to be able to work for them because it would be a good way to make a few bucks.

Here's a sampling of their job offers!

WANT A REAL MAYOR? – Campaign positions
Date: 2009-10-26, 4:16PM EDT
Reply to: job-y3g9g-1438723128@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Wanted: Concerned citizens who do not want to see Michael Bloomberg re-elected.

Its time to elect a REAL Mayor, not hand it over to someone who wants to buy it.
The current Mayor decided eight years was not enough time to make sure the city was unaffordable to all but the wealthiest New Yorkers. Now he wants four more years.

We need someone who will grow the economy, expand access to affordable housing, and address the challenges in our education system.

Responsibilities:
Direct voter contact, id, & education

Requirements:
• Strong communication skills
• Confident
• Energetic
• Interest in campaign work and the democratic process

Some college strongly preferred

Please send your resume and a brief description of why you are interested in working on the campaign:


HIRING IMMEDIATELY FROM NOW UNTIL ELECTION DAY TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD.

FT/PT/Temp work, flexible schedule.

Bilingual a bonus, EOE

Contact us TODAY:
Email (preferable): work4thompson@gmail.com

Phone: 212.608.6555 x142


www.thompson2009.com


Campaign Positions Available (NYC)
Date: 2009-10-25, 6:41PM EDT
Reply to: resumes@mikebloomberg2009.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Bloomberg for Mayor 2009 is seeking individuals to take an active role in supporting the Mayor’s re-election campaign during an important time for New York City.

Individuals will have one-on-one contact with voters on a daily basis. They will learn about neighborhood issues and campaign strategy.

Interested applicants should be well-spoken, persuasive, confident, and hard working. Bi-lingual applicants preferred but not mandatory.

Applicants should be available to work afternoons and evenings and weekends.

We are looking to fill paid hourly positions starting immediately with food provided.

If you are interested, please email a resume to resumes@mikebloomberg2009.com.

I'm planning on voting for Reverend Billy, founder of the Church of Life After Shopping. I may volunteer for them but they obviously have no $$

What is a day off when you are unemployed?

Yesterday was 75 degrees! An amazing number for late October. I decided to declare it a "personal" day and spent the day biking around Manhattan and hanging out in Central Park. I know it's odd to have days off when you are not working but it really did feel like a day off. I didn't dwell on job stuff or lack their off or on pre-natal stuff or on anything really besides the colors of the trees and soaking in vitamin D.

Today is back to normal with gray skies and the temperature dropping by the hour getting to 50 by the end of the day, and I am back at my computer trying to figure out what is wrong with me.

Right now Mr. T is finally earning enough money to support both of us. In many ways it doesn't make sense to take on a full time job right now because I will obviously want at least 3 months off, so the logical thing would be for me to start volunteering somewhere. But I can't seem to make myself do that. I know I need to put ego aside and take the plunge but it's so humiliating to put myself out there as free labor to a group that I know I am qualified to work for. Last year I sucked it up and applied for an unpaid internship at an org. I like. The woman called me in for an interview and then started almost yelling at me asking what my problem is with all my experience why don't I get a real job?

I worked unpaid for these women on and off for 6 months last year and it ended horrifically. I think I am still in shell shock from all these experiences. I am so stuck.

On a different note along with random jobs I am now searching for apartments on Craigs list, it would be nice to live somewhere where we can get a dog and where we might feel like we are in a vibrant city as opposed to a bizarre sub-universe. So yesterday evening I went to look at a place. The 2 front doors were unlocked, the elevator smelled even worse than ours! We got upstairs and there were strange sounds coming out of the empty and hastily remodeled apartment. We took a careful step inside to see a pigeon stuck in the kitchen desperately trying to get out the partially opened window. He kept banging his head and fluttering his wings. It's not often that I am overcome with sympathy for a flying rat, but his situation was sad. The kitchen was really small and the bird very frustrated so I didn't feel like I could go in and open the window further for him. I wonder how long the poor guy had been in there.

Last year I read The Year of Living Biblically, where A J Jacobs attempted to follow everyone of the 613 biblical commandments. There are a bunch of commandments relating to slavery so he decided that the best way to fulfill those requirements was to get an intern or a modern day slave. In Jacob's vein I bring you todays craigslist posting:

freelance designer looking for "creative" doctor (brooklyn)
Date: 2009-10-22, 2:42PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-rtgva-1433035600@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I'm horribly sick and it sucks. I don't have a regular paycheck yet alone health insurance because all of you people insist I work for free, so I can't offer any money. But it will be great exposure for a doctor (you might get sick!)... you will be given credit on my website and with my friends for prescribing me drugs, and it could potentially lead to some paying work in the future. Sound good?

* Location: brooklyn
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: would you ask a doctor to work for free? no? THEN WHY SHOULD I?

Feeling drained

What does it mean when you wake up after 8 hours of sleep and you feel completely exhausted? I had a dream that someone left a paper bag with $3 million in it for me at a diner and then I had to chase this creep all over Central Park to try to get it back.

Yesterday we had a 20 minute consultation with a new midwife. She has been practicing for years and is very no nonsense, Mr. T liked her a lot, I felt intimidated by her. But she looked us in the eye and fit us in to her busy schedule and gave undivided attention for those 20 minutes, which Mr. T says are all really good signs. When she realized that I was at 10 weeks she asked if we'd heard the heartbeat yet, we said no. She asked her waiting patient if she could wait just a little longer and we moved to a room with a fetal heart device. She couldn't find the heart beat which she made us both repeat means nothing! But it was disappointing.

I managed to send out 2 resumes in a 20 minute period yesterday both for well paying temporary positions that I feel completely qualified for, both would be perfect but I'm not crossing my fingers.

I decided to make an appointment with yesterday's person and not think about this stuff for a while, it's too draining. I still think I might be more inclined to do a home birth but I'm gonna put it on hold for a while. This is just the beginning of endless decisions we will have to make, or so I'm told. Being a parent in our fear mongering culture has everyone on high alert and completely convinced that every decision they make can mean total destruction for the child.

I have been scouring Craigslist for something juicy. The best I can come up with is something offensive and odd:

Little people needed for month of November (Manhattan)
Date: 2009-10-20, 9:56AM EDT
Reply to: job-2hjrk-1429490770@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Little person or people needed to work as gallery assistant for a one month long gallery show in Manhattan, which will be simultaneously filmed as a pilot for a new reality tv show showcasing the art world. Work would be part time through the month of November, 20-30 hours at 500 a week. Please contact as soon as possible.

finding a practioner sucks

I made an appointment 5 weeks ago at a place called Clementine midwiferey. They have offices in Park slope and are affiliated with St. Vincents hospital in Manhattan. A friend of a friend who is a doula and has researched the shit out of this stuff said they were her top recommendation for a midwife in all of New York. And they were in my network so I tought everything would be great. Thursday afternoon at 4 PM I get an email from them that they don't have any more openings for May deliveries and would be cancelling my Monday appointment. I was in shock that they would cancel 2 days before when I had made the appointment so many weeks earlier, you would think if they didn't have room they could have noticed earlier! I asked the charming office manager if I could come in for a first appointment since it was such short notice and then have more time to find someone else to work with. She said NO!

Turns out union insurance is not the most progressive in the world. There's no paternity leave and only a very limited and rather odd bunch of midwives are considered in-network. I went against my better judgement and made an appointment with a midwife who is connected to St. Vincents hospital and does not have a single review on-line. Apparently she's been working for 23 years and there is literally not a review of her anywhere. She was so much worse than I ever imagianed she would be. The office is located on the 9th floor of the spellman ward in the hospital, the creaky elevator barely made it up that high. We walk in and they start throwing documents at us to fill out. I asked if I could use the bathroom and they threw a cup for a urine sample in my hands and declared that my husband could start on the paper work. It shocked me that in NYC in 2009 anyone would make the assumption that he was my husband. The waiting room was freezing. I asked for water because I was thirsty after the ride over, they told me they didn't have water. The examining room was like an icebox. And the midwife finally came in and immediately started going over my medical history then asked if I had any questions. I said no. She said no questions? And Mr. T said do you mean questions about our medical history? And she said no questions about anything.

It went downhill from there. I could not have connected less with this woman. Turns out there are 2 midwives and 3 doctors in her practice and any one of them can be there for labor. I asked if I could meet the others and she said if that mattered to me she could arrange it. Then she started listing all the diseases that she would recommend testing for immediately and started advertising some new and expensive procedure where you save your placenta in a cord bank. She suggested that I take the survey even if i am not interested because I would get a $50 gift card. That's when we decided to leave her office before she tried to touch me or things got any worse.

We walked out to the freezing cold NY morning and i started to cry. Mr. T went to work but agreed to revisit the idea of doing a home birth. Home births seem to be quite trendy in Brooklyn these days. I was scared by the idea because the hospital closest to our apartment is not supposed to be very good but after today's experience it is looking more and more appealing.

I have another consultation with someone also connected to St. Vincents but who has her own office in Manhattan, tomorrow. I also made an appointment to visit the Brooklyn birthing center.

How do people with jobs have time to deal with all this crap? It's such a headache, so stressful and time consuming and I have time to put in to it!

After the appointment i had to take a long walk to decompress and talked to my mom about her births, they were all natural and without any complications. She also confessed that she didn't see a doctor when she was pregnant with my brother until she was 6 months pregnant! Ahh the 70's.

Needless to say I haven't had much time to look for jobs today so no cute Craigslist postings on this 19th of OCtober. . .

Hungry Hungry hippo

I woke up at 4:30 this morning to pee. Nothing new there it's been a long time since I haven't peed at least once in the middle of the night. But I was starving, out of control starving. I lay in bed and my stomach was grumbling. Finally Mr. T brought me a candy and some water. He decided that it was a great time to be awake and start writing as he laughed about the foreign idea of waking up every two hours.

It's in the 40's and profoundly gray outside and has just started raining. I made a potato spinach dish for breakfast and am already hungry again, really hungry. IT's Out of Control! I got freaked out last night that I was going to get gestational diabetes because I've been eating so much sugar but luckily that doesn't kick in till week 28! I've been eating a lot of sugar compared to my normal life but I don't know if objectively speaking it qualifies as an insane amount of sugar.

I have yet to send a resume out this week. There's just nothing out there! It's so discouraging. It makes me feel trapped.

At our wedding in August two of Mr. T's good friends got up and told the embarrassing story of the night we met. One of them said that Mr. T has always been attracted to women who look like men, short hair etc. women who you have to glance twice to make sure it's really a girl, as he said. Then the other jumped in and corrected that there was never a doubt about my gender on that first drunken night but he did like my buzz cut.

Anyway this job posting feels oddly appropriate:

Looking for Lesbian to pose nude.
Date: 2009-10-15, 4:10AM EDT
Reply to: gigs-amkek-1422227061@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for butch lesbians who might look like a guy in close, but out of close, she is all woman. This is a private project, and it is Art. This project is for Butch lesbians who are proud of their womanly shape despite their tom boy appearance. The shoot will be TFP and yes you can bring an escort or who ever. Please contact me if you are interested in the shoot.

being upside down is good

Am feeling pretty blaa this morning, maybe I should do this!

Editor/Proofreader Wanted
Date: 2009-10-14, 10:17AM EDT
Reply to: job-95qqs-1420864569@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Looking for an editor willing to work for trade of aerial lessons (aerial tissu, static trapeze, lyra).
Sitting in a chair all day long is bad for the body and the spirit! Being upside down is a great way to cleanse your "reality" palate.
Please email resume and short paragraph about yourself.

I can't seem to drink coffee without running to the bathroom but I also can't make it through a morning without coffee, how do people do it? A friend of mine made it through college, and graduate school without a sip of coffee. She has bad insomnia and was convinced that even a morning cup would keep her up at night. Now at the age of 29 forever and a few years she has suddenly discovered the wonders of coffee and is a serious junkie convert. She has no idea how she survived the last 30 odd years of life and school. She criticizes certain coffee and pops sleeping pills at night. Watching her drink and drool over coffee was as shocking as if she had been shooting heroin in front of me! I know it's really bad to have too much caffeine when you're pregnant though I haven't read anything that completely convinces me that it's bad. . . most of the coffee I drink seems to be shooting right through me which is good because I am also finding myself supplementing my beer cravings with chocolate. I never tried a peanutbutter twix till last week, I can't believe I went so long without that in my life!

How I'm keeping busy this week:

1. I got hired in June to write the annual report for an org. I used to work for. It was supposed to be a summer project. It's now mid-October and the freakin thing is not done yet!

2. A friend and I started a CSA in our neighborhood last year. This week has been devoted to trying to find a replacement team to take over major responsibilities for next year. So far not many people are responding.

3. Organizing Mr T.'s February book tour, trying to find independent bookstores in the bookstore abyss that is most of this country.

4. Scanning Idealist and Craigslist for something that will give me structure and money for the next few months.

5. Coming up with recipes for the mother cabbage we have in our fridge from the CSA this week.

It's in the 40's right now and getting dark by 6:15. Winter is looming.

The morning got away from me!

Mr. T and I had a fabulous weekend in Montauk, sort of a mini honeymoon. Though we've been together for 7.5 years we only legally tied the knot in August, and haven't had time to go anywhere alone until this weekend. We brought our bikes and cruised around the whole area on Sunday which was actually sunny and not too cold. We even went in the ocean! The whole time we were enjoying our total freedom, eating when we wanted, going where ever whenever, sleeping at odd times, I kept trying to savor the moments. Next year at this time we won't be able to hop on our bikes and just get away from everything for 48 blissful hours!

I think the thing that most worries me is not being able to bike everywhere. It's my main form of exercise and transportation and losing that is pretty upsetting.

This morning a couple freelance projects actually kept me very busy so I haven't been on any search engines! Instead I am including a writing sample I submitted for a job last week. It's to write the annual report and newsletter for a homeless organization and they wanted a writing sample of a kids day at the zoo. I guess they didn't like what I wrote since I haven't heard back but I had fun with it so figure I will post it!

IT was a great day! I had no idea when I woke up this morning that I would get to see a camel - a real live camel! My mom and I don’t get to spend much time together because she is always working and I am always at school, or at after school, or at my babysitters’ house. For some reason she decided this morning to call in sick and we spent the whole day, the whole entire day, at the zoo! We saw monkeys and sea-lions and a walrus but camels have always been my favorite. I told her that when I grow up I want to live in Egypt and ride a camel to work.

My friend Alex has been to the zoo and told me about it, but I didn’t really believe him that a giraffe is taller than a basketball hoop. Now I can tell people about it, they really are that tall, it’s crazy. I had never seen so many animals in one place. Where we live we cant even have a dog or a cat and the people at the zoo get to have monkeys and camels! I wish we could live in the zoo. Though some parts of it were stinky! But mostly it was beautiful, no really, there were like trees and flowers and little paths that grown-ups couldn’t fit on. I never knew how big an elephant was either – it was huge.

People always call me monkey boy because I like to do flips on the monkey bars but I watched the monkeys for a long time, and they were really funny - especially when one of them stole a banana from the other one and then they started hitting each other - but I don’t think that’s me. I’m pretty sure that I am a camel. Sometimes I go a whole day without peeing, no really, just ask my babysitter, she thinks there’s something wrong with me. But then I pee in bed at night and mom starts to cry and then I cry so then I try to hold it in forever - like a camel.

Mom was in such a good mood that she even bought me an ice cream and a camel tattoo. I told her I am never going to take a bath again so the tattoo can be on my arm forever and ever and I will never forget our day at the zoo. She smiled but put water in the bathtub and made me get in.

You know you’re unemployed when. . .
1. The mail lady knows your name and asks where you’ve been when she doesn’t see you for a day or two.
2. It’s 9:00 AM and you are watching a rerun of last night’s Daily Show in your pajamas

You know you’re pregnant when:
1. You can’t walk down the street without stopping to pee at a coffee shop or 3
2. Your boobs wont stop aching
3. You can’t make it through the day, even an unemployed day, without a nap
4. You cry at news stories

I found 2 such interesting job opportunities on Craigslist today that I have decided to post them both:

Go Around the World with 2 Children! (Africa, Asia, S America, etc!)

---

Date: 2009-10-08, 3:02PM EDT
Reply to: job-twsh3-1412446726@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Go Around the World with 2 Children!

Hit 14 countries in twelve months! You’ll be nanny to our two children, a 2 year old and a newborn. We’ll spend about 30 days in each country, sightseeing and learning about the culture. My husband and I will be volunteering for charities/NGOs in some of the countries and will be with you and the kids during the day in others. Our goal is the make this life-changing, unforgettable trip!

The trip will begin in April 2010 and go through April 2011. We would like to have you begin working part-time (maybe two evenings per week) starting this November. This will allow you and our children to get to know each other beforehand. You will be expected to watch the children at our home in Sunnyside, Queens. Salary and hours are negotiable for this portion of the year. Salary while in America is subject to all legal taxes and deductions.

Below is a very general description of what we are expecting from you. Please feel free to ask us if you have any questions or if any of our instructions to you are unclear. We are happy to meet with you at any time to discuss any issues or concerns you might have.

* Feeding – prepare bottles & meals
* Personal Hygiene – diaper changing, cleaning & wiping, and bathing
* Putting children to bed
* Dressing
* Playtime – indoor and/or outdoor weather permitting
* Reading and singing to children
* Accompanying children to any scheduled activities or playdates

Salary, Benefits, and Hours
Your salary will total $10,000. Bi-weekly you will receive a check of $384.62 on the last working day of the week. There will be no taxes or deductions since you will be out of the country. Please be aware that this means you are not earning social security, paying into Medicare or Worker’s Compensation, and have no unemployment insurance.

Additionally, we will pay all your travel related expenses (i.e. all flights, food, etc.) and will pay 100% of your health insurance policy. We have chosen a comprehensive plan for our family and will offer you the same one. If you choose to have another plan, you may negotiate that with us.

You will receive two weeks paid vacation. You will receive 10 paid holidays of your choice, to be chosen at your start-date. There may be some days when your services will not be required for some or all of a day you are regularly scheduled to work. For instance, we may decide to take additional vacation or leave early for a weekend. You will be paid for these days. You will receive two paid sick days per year.

You will be living with our family in each location. Because of the nature of the trip, you will be working around the clock for five days and have two days and nights off each week.

If you are interested in volunteering with the charities/NGOs/non-profits, we can make time in your schedule for you to do so.

First Aid, CPR Training, and Child Care
We will cover the cost a First Aid class and CPR class for infants/children and will make the necessary arrangements for the class. We will also cover a class in infant/child care. You will complete these classes at least 2 months prior to the trip departure.

Where are you Going?

1. Peru
2. Brazil
3. Sierra Leone
4. Ghana
5. South Africa
6. Israel
7. India
8. Bhutan
9. Myanmar
10. Thailand
11. Cambodia
12. Vietnam
13. Laos
14. Copenhagen (for 1 week)
15. If your home country is not on this list, we may be able to add it to the itinerary. Please ask us during the interview.

Confidentiality
Please respect our privacy. While you are working in our house, you may see, hear or otherwise become privy to private information about our family. Please keep all information concerning our family confidential. You may not blog about the trip or publish anything about the trip during or after.

We want to welcome you to our family and hope you will enjoy the time you spend with us.


TV Production Company Casting for Real Life Witches! (Midtown West)
Date: 2009-10-09, 10:50AM EDT
Reply to: job-7qxum-1413547091@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Wanted: Witches with psychic abilities and witch craft capabilities

New blog

Welcome to my new blog documenting this unique and finite period in my life. This blog will continue until 1. I get a job, or 2. I have a baby. In either case i will no longer be an unemployed mom to be. In the mean time I will use this blog to keep sane through a potentially stressful stretch.

We started trying to conceive last November. I started looking for work last September. So though I smoked pot in college and love beer and coffee, conceiving proved to be easier than landing a job in this freakin economy - though not by a lot!

I am blogging from a coffee shop in Brooklyn which is full of fellow bloggers, unemployed New Yorkers, and at least one very pregnant mama to be.

The day I took my first positive pregnancy test I did not believe the results. Was it a faint plus or a minus that I just wanted to be a plus? I waited till my husband got home and we ate dinner and tried to talk about other things before taking the 2nd test. It still had a plus but a disturbingly pale plus. My boobs had been throbbing for days, but I was convinced it was bad PMS. I sent Mr. T to the drug store to buy a new test at 9:00 PM. I wanted a non-generic that was impossible to misread. He returned with one that read PREGNANT or NOT PREGNANT, pretty unambiguous! and 2 pints of ice cream. People in the check out line gave him funny looks. It said PREGNANT in no uncertain terms. We ate all the ice cream.

Finding a job is kind of like finding a husband, there are millions of potential ones out there but you only have to click with one to make it all work. But as my single friends can attest finding that one is way harder than you can ever imagine!

Here are a list of jobs that I have had interviews for, sometimes multiple interviews, in the last year. They all felt kind of like blind dates that wouldn't end:

1. Conference organizer for NYC grassroots media conference
2. Educational distribution manager for a documentary about Iraq
3. Temporary director of street vendor project - Urban Justice Center
4. Journalist Assistance Program Associate (Committee to Protect Journalists) 3 interviews and a test!
5. Site Development manager, Jewish Funds for Justice - worst interview of my life.

I will be updating this blog with my favorite Craigslists job postings from any given day. Potential jobs that I can't imagine ever being desperate enough to apply for.

Here is today's. It goes on way too long, so it's just half of it, but you should get the idea!

Do You Strike Up Conversations With Strangers in Elevators? (Manhattan/Brooklyn)

---

Date: 2009-10-07, 2:03PM EDT
Reply to: job-4jt7m-1410762905@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

---

Hi. Even for Craig's List, this is going to be a strange ad. But read on – it’s strange but legit.

I'm a single, straight guy, in my early 40’s, recently moved to NYC, with almost no social circle here (and, even worse, I work on my own). No history of mental illnesss, jail time or listening to country music. Moving to NY has been fantastic, but the one thing is, I have been finding it hard to meet women. So I’m doing the normal, typical, rational thing that any guy in my position would do -- I'm looking to hire a female "wingman," that is, a "wingwoman," to break the ice for me in social situations.

Strange but true.

This is a real job I'm offering; it's not a personal ad in disguise, and I’m not a Nigerian scammer or a reality show producer, either. Perhaps more surprisingly, I'm also not a freak, weirdo or serial killer - I am just not good at walking up to a woman I don't know and getting beyond "Hi" and I want to do something about it. (Basically, I want to avoid this guy’s fate.)

This would be a part-time, occasional gig. Get-togethers would be in Manhattan or Brooklyn; sometimes weekend afternoons, sometimes evenings. (Generally speaking, NOT in bars or nightclubs. I am more of a Brooklyn Flea / The Moth / Big Terrific / Midsummer Night Swing type of guy. This is also my kind of thing.) Probably 2-5 hours per stint. We would only meet in public places and I would pay you ($20/hour) cash.

And you don't have to be single or even "unattached" to apply - there's no "hanky panky" involved. (I really don’t care if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend or significant other, as long as that person knows about and is cool with the situation.)

If you want to know more details about the arrangement, check out these articles:

Are You With Him? Why Yes, Want to Date Him?

Wingwomen (8 pages long)

I am NOT looking for someone to “lure” 100 unsuspecting women my way so I can sleep with and then dump them. This is SO not about that. At this point in my life, I’m not looking for 100 women, I’m looking for ONE special one. This is all about Quality Over Quanity.

And I’m probably going to hire several different “wingwomen,” part-time, depending on who’s interested in doing what kinds of things.