I have no idea what this means

Shower Door Mechanic
Date: 2009-10-28, 11:05AM EDT
Reply to: joe@triviewshowerdoor.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

Mature responsible individual with experience ONLY
Full Time TOP PAY$$$$$$
Please reply to joe@triviewshowerdoor.com or Fax resume to (516) 338-4173,
Contact Joe at (516) 338-4170 or (516) 315-3647


* Compensation: TOP PAY$$$$$$

Top pay to fix shower doors, what??? What about curtains do you get top dollar for them too? It's been rainy and cold for 2 days now and I haven't left the apartment yet today - never ever ever a good thing for my mental health. Maybe I should start fixing shower doors around town.

I am feeling pretty useless and sluggish.
I read Jonathan Safraen Foer's piece about vegetarianism in the NY Times magazine from a couple weeks ago. He talks about how having kids made him confront his own hypocricy:
"The shame of parenthood - which is a good shame - is that we want our children to be more whole than we are, to have satisfactory answers. My children not only inspired me to reconsider what kind of eating animal I would be, but also shamed me into reconsideration. And then, one day, they will choose for themselves. I don't know what my reaction will be if they decide to eat meat. (I don't know what my reaction will be if they decide to renounce their Judaism, root for the Red Sox or register Republican.) I'm not as worried about what they will choose as much as my ability to make them conscious of the choices before them. I wont measure my success as a parent by whether my children share my values, but by whether they act according to their own."

This feels like an important reminder to me. I constantly find myself thinking, what if my kid doesn't like spicy food? What if they are interested in something totally boring like fire trucks? What if I can't relate. I want to try hard to keep the idea in my head that as long as they believe in something and can articulate and defend it then it's something.

I was joking with a friend that this baby is the most conservative creature ever because it waited until we were legally married and until at least one of us was gainfully employed and with insurance to show up on the scene. But what if it's not a joke what if this baby really does have a conservative traditionalist bent? the thought terrifies me!

I am feeling very pessimistic at the prospect of finding a job before I start showing and it becomes too complicated. I need some focus for these next few months. . . I feel like a broken record.