You know you’re unemployed when. . .
1. The mail lady knows your name and asks where you’ve been when she doesn’t see you for a day or two.
2. It’s 9:00 AM and you are watching a rerun of last night’s Daily Show in your pajamas

You know you’re pregnant when:
1. You can’t walk down the street without stopping to pee at a coffee shop or 3
2. Your boobs wont stop aching
3. You can’t make it through the day, even an unemployed day, without a nap
4. You cry at news stories

I found 2 such interesting job opportunities on Craigslist today that I have decided to post them both:

Go Around the World with 2 Children! (Africa, Asia, S America, etc!)

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Date: 2009-10-08, 3:02PM EDT
Reply to: job-twsh3-1412446726@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

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Go Around the World with 2 Children!

Hit 14 countries in twelve months! You’ll be nanny to our two children, a 2 year old and a newborn. We’ll spend about 30 days in each country, sightseeing and learning about the culture. My husband and I will be volunteering for charities/NGOs in some of the countries and will be with you and the kids during the day in others. Our goal is the make this life-changing, unforgettable trip!

The trip will begin in April 2010 and go through April 2011. We would like to have you begin working part-time (maybe two evenings per week) starting this November. This will allow you and our children to get to know each other beforehand. You will be expected to watch the children at our home in Sunnyside, Queens. Salary and hours are negotiable for this portion of the year. Salary while in America is subject to all legal taxes and deductions.

Below is a very general description of what we are expecting from you. Please feel free to ask us if you have any questions or if any of our instructions to you are unclear. We are happy to meet with you at any time to discuss any issues or concerns you might have.

* Feeding – prepare bottles & meals
* Personal Hygiene – diaper changing, cleaning & wiping, and bathing
* Putting children to bed
* Dressing
* Playtime – indoor and/or outdoor weather permitting
* Reading and singing to children
* Accompanying children to any scheduled activities or playdates

Salary, Benefits, and Hours
Your salary will total $10,000. Bi-weekly you will receive a check of $384.62 on the last working day of the week. There will be no taxes or deductions since you will be out of the country. Please be aware that this means you are not earning social security, paying into Medicare or Worker’s Compensation, and have no unemployment insurance.

Additionally, we will pay all your travel related expenses (i.e. all flights, food, etc.) and will pay 100% of your health insurance policy. We have chosen a comprehensive plan for our family and will offer you the same one. If you choose to have another plan, you may negotiate that with us.

You will receive two weeks paid vacation. You will receive 10 paid holidays of your choice, to be chosen at your start-date. There may be some days when your services will not be required for some or all of a day you are regularly scheduled to work. For instance, we may decide to take additional vacation or leave early for a weekend. You will be paid for these days. You will receive two paid sick days per year.

You will be living with our family in each location. Because of the nature of the trip, you will be working around the clock for five days and have two days and nights off each week.

If you are interested in volunteering with the charities/NGOs/non-profits, we can make time in your schedule for you to do so.

First Aid, CPR Training, and Child Care
We will cover the cost a First Aid class and CPR class for infants/children and will make the necessary arrangements for the class. We will also cover a class in infant/child care. You will complete these classes at least 2 months prior to the trip departure.

Where are you Going?

1. Peru
2. Brazil
3. Sierra Leone
4. Ghana
5. South Africa
6. Israel
7. India
8. Bhutan
9. Myanmar
10. Thailand
11. Cambodia
12. Vietnam
13. Laos
14. Copenhagen (for 1 week)
15. If your home country is not on this list, we may be able to add it to the itinerary. Please ask us during the interview.

Confidentiality
Please respect our privacy. While you are working in our house, you may see, hear or otherwise become privy to private information about our family. Please keep all information concerning our family confidential. You may not blog about the trip or publish anything about the trip during or after.

We want to welcome you to our family and hope you will enjoy the time you spend with us.


TV Production Company Casting for Real Life Witches! (Midtown West)
Date: 2009-10-09, 10:50AM EDT
Reply to: job-7qxum-1413547091@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Wanted: Witches with psychic abilities and witch craft capabilities