Feeling drained

What does it mean when you wake up after 8 hours of sleep and you feel completely exhausted? I had a dream that someone left a paper bag with $3 million in it for me at a diner and then I had to chase this creep all over Central Park to try to get it back.

Yesterday we had a 20 minute consultation with a new midwife. She has been practicing for years and is very no nonsense, Mr. T liked her a lot, I felt intimidated by her. But she looked us in the eye and fit us in to her busy schedule and gave undivided attention for those 20 minutes, which Mr. T says are all really good signs. When she realized that I was at 10 weeks she asked if we'd heard the heartbeat yet, we said no. She asked her waiting patient if she could wait just a little longer and we moved to a room with a fetal heart device. She couldn't find the heart beat which she made us both repeat means nothing! But it was disappointing.

I managed to send out 2 resumes in a 20 minute period yesterday both for well paying temporary positions that I feel completely qualified for, both would be perfect but I'm not crossing my fingers.

I decided to make an appointment with yesterday's person and not think about this stuff for a while, it's too draining. I still think I might be more inclined to do a home birth but I'm gonna put it on hold for a while. This is just the beginning of endless decisions we will have to make, or so I'm told. Being a parent in our fear mongering culture has everyone on high alert and completely convinced that every decision they make can mean total destruction for the child.

I have been scouring Craigslist for something juicy. The best I can come up with is something offensive and odd:

Little people needed for month of November (Manhattan)
Date: 2009-10-20, 9:56AM EDT
Reply to: job-2hjrk-1429490770@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Little person or people needed to work as gallery assistant for a one month long gallery show in Manhattan, which will be simultaneously filmed as a pilot for a new reality tv show showcasing the art world. Work would be part time through the month of November, 20-30 hours at 500 a week. Please contact as soon as possible.